Falling Away With You
by cellardoor
Summary: The fighting was constant, the laughter was few and far between, the breakup was inevitable, but no matter what, Tommy and Jude would always find a way back to each other. Jommy.
1. Truth

She kicked the door with her foot as it went flying open towards the empty alley. She stumbled out alone, huffing and puffing, she slammed her firsts against the brick before turning towards the door and leaning with her back against the wall. He was the only one that could ever make her this upset. He was the only one she cared so much about that everything he said to her was taken to the heart. She glanced down at her hand that was bleeding and quickly bruising. She then glanced up and watched the door intently, waiting for him to follow her, but instead it remained closed. Tears rested on the brim of her eyes, but she refused to let them fall, she wouldn't cry.

The relationship had been rocky from the get-go. Every one had been against them from the start. Everyone said, the age gap was too big, he would never change his ways, and she wouldn't hurt her sister like that, but they were wrong. Their love was powerful and no one was going to bring them down. They had waited long enough. The electricity that came from the two of them was so powerful that could have burnt down all of western Canada alone. But as much as they loved each other and wanted to be together, the fights always came and they always won. No matter how hard they tried, it just seemed the something always got in the way of their happiness.

"What was that all about?" Kwest approached Tommy from behind, who was staring intently at the exit door, waiting for her to come back in, but instead it remained closed.

He knew she was waiting on the other side, just as he was waiting for her, but they were both too stubborn to give into the other. As much as he wanted to run into the alley, tell her he was sorry and push her up against the wall and take her right then and there, he restrained himself.

"Nothing," he shook his head as he walked back into the studio, where they were previously working together.

---

He left the studio shortly after she never returned inside. He went back to their loft where he hoped that she would be, but he found himself alone. Like most days.

He walked into their bedroom and made the bed from the previous night and then let himself fall into a wave of comfort as his head hit the pillows. He placed one hand behind his head and the other across his chest. He breathed in and out heavily, pondering where and when it all went wrong. He turned the music on softly, so that he could still hear when she came through the door and let a tear fall.

She clomped up the stairs to their third story loft. She gripped herself tightly, protecting her body from the cold that was incased in the stairwell. She heard the elevator rise past her, as she looked up and realized she only had a half flight of stairs left to go.

The door was already unlocked and she walked in as quietly as she could. She heard the music softly coming from the bedroom and placed her keys in the bowl by the door as quietly as she could. She knew that he would come out sooner or later and approach her, but she wanted to give herself as much time as possible.

He heard the door open and close quietly, and then silence. He rolled off the bed and made his way to the doorway just as she placed her keys in the bowl. He watched her walk over to the couch and plop her body down like she could no longer hold it up.

He walked out the door and bee lined to the couch.

She could hear him making his way towards her, but she didn't look up.

"Hi," he said softly and sincere.

Just the sound of his voice directed at her, sent shivers down her spine and caused a smile to slowly, yet shortly, play at her mouth. After watching him go for everyone but her for so long, now knowing that he was directing anything at her made her love him even more. She looked up at him, her make-up by this time completely under her eyes.

"I'm sorry," he looked down at her lying their so innocently on the couch. He made his way to the other side hoping that she would let him join her.

He stared at her briefly as she lifted her feet so that he could sit and then gently placed them across his lap, just like back when all they were were innocent friends with a strong connection on the level that most people would live their entire lives without ever feeling.

"Don't be," she whispered, as her mind screamed and yelled at him. He should be sorry, but he was sorry too much lately, and as much as she knew he meant it, she was becoming immune to his words.

"But I am, I shouldn't have said what I did, I didn't mean it," he began to untie her shoes.

"You did, or else you wouldn't have even been thinking it," she turned her head towards the window, it was starting to rain and she began to count the rain drops that forcefully came to an abrupt end on the smooth surface.

"I can't remember the last time we laughed together," he watched his fingers intensely as they untied her laces.

"Pathetic isn't it?" she continued to stare out the window, headlights shining into their loft, into her eyes and forever in her heart as they turned the corner.

"They just came and went, snuck up on us and by the time we knew what was going on they had already passed," he placed her shoes on the floor next to him.

"With the good comes the bad, we knew that when we started this relationship, but it was a chance we were willing to take. I love you Tommy, don't ever doubt that," this time she turned her head to look at him.

He glanced over to look at her eyes, his stare was burning into heart, "I never have," he rubbed her leg.

She sat up from her position on the couch, her feet still across his lap, she slid down so that her legs were across him and her knees were bent at his chest, "Good," she placed her hand on his smooth face. But the look in her eyes caused him to tilt his head away from her hand. It was the look he was dreading and too afraid to make himself.


	2. Life is what it is, Not what it was

"_I hate you Jude!" Sadie screamed at her sister._

_"Right back at you Sadie!" Jude yelled twice as loud as she turned and stormed out of their mother's house. _

_Tommy was sitting in the car; the engine was on waiting for her as he saw her come flying out of the house, the door slamming behind her._

_ Sadie standing on the other side of the glass, her arms over her chest glaring his way._

_Jude gasped as the tears she was working so hard at holding back began to flow from the rims of her eyes. Everything became a blur as she walked up to the car door and opened it. _

_At first Tommy didn't say a word, but when the crying got worse he couldn't help but speak up, he opened his mouth to say something but before he could even get a word in Jude interrupted._

"_Please Tommy, just don't start right now," Jude shot at him._

_She was so cold to him sometimes, all he wanted to do was make sure that she was okay, see if there was anything he could do, but she was pushing him away, like she had been doing a lot lately, he turned his head toward the windshield and began to drive them home._

"_If it wasn't for you, we wouldn't even be fighting in the first place," she shot at him, like this was his entire fault._

"_Oh please Jude, whatever this is about, it's between Sadie and you," he defended._

"_Well if you wouldn't have dated her first, maybe we wouldn't be in this mess in the first place," she crossed her arms over her chest and glanced out her window._

_After the years they had been together everything always came back to the relationship with Sadie. She was always throwing it in his face, making him feel guilty for something that happened years ago. They had talked this over numerous times and had come to an agreement and an understanding, but Jude couldn't let it go._

_It seemed that every fight Sadie and Jude had always came back to him, she was always making snide comments under her breath or to his face and he could only defend himself so much. Every time she brought it up, his heart broke just a little bit more._

"_Life is what it is, not what he was," he spoke, ignoring her for the rest of the drive home._

There relationship was coming to an end and it seemed that the only thing that both of them could remember were the unhappy times. The fights that came constantly and the blaming that always seemed to have its finger pointed at him.

"Jude," the tears began to form in his eyes.

"I'm sorry Tommy," her tears mirrored his.

They both knew what was coming, yet neither wanted to say it, or admit it. It hurt a thousand times worse now that it was becoming a reality.

She shook her head, unable to listen to herself or think straight.

"We both know it's for the best," he placed his hand on her face and brought it up so that she had to look at him, "Don't cry, please Jude, I love you more than any one in this entire world, more than I will ever love anyone again."

She knew he was telling the truth, after everything they had been through, the love was never ending, they just made it too hard on one another to let this relationship last. Together their love would kill each other. They loved each other too much to go on any longer.

She reached over and kissed him on the lips. It was just like their first kiss, forceful and passionate. Neither wanted to let go, but she choked on her tears causing her head to fall down.

"I know," his voice soothed her, as he brushed his hand over her cheek, "Jude…"

"Tommy please don't," her voice trailed off.

"But Jude…" he waited till she made eye contact.

"I just can't do this right now. I cant," she shook her head, "The worst heartbreak is letting someone go whom you love and I love you Tommy. The pain is just too much right now."

"I love you too Jude, I do."

"I know," she glanced up at his glossy eyes.

Her eyes were begging him to stay but he couldn't, as much as he wanted to he had to get out of there. His body was stiff as he shifted his leg to stand up from the couch. The movement made Jude's body jerk back. He looked at her, his heart breaking more with everything second that passed and he had to look at her.

"Tommy…" she was starting to sob.

"I'll come back to my things sometime next week," by this time he had managed to completely lift himself off the couch, but his legs felt week, he wobbled before taking a step away and towards the door.

"I won't be here," she too stood up like she was going with him. She left for a five month tour a day after tomorrow.

"I know," he stared at her.

She couldn't take her eyes off of him. She tried but she couldn't pull them away from the emotion that was written all over his face. She felt like she was watching a movie, standing to the side and was watching this scene play out. Two people completely in love with each other, who knew it, yet couldn't be together because although they brought out the best of each other, something needed to change and neither one of them knew what that something was.

He watched her watch him. He imagined his future without her and the tears quickly surfaced. To not feel the warmth of her body next to his at night. To not intertwine his fingers with hers. To not feel the softness of her lips against his. But he knew this had to be done. He closed his eyes as he wiped away the tears and suddenly her body was up against his. Her arms were wrapped around his neck, her head buried in his shoulder. His arms gripped her waist. This would be the last time he felt her. The last time he would hold her this close.

They cried into each other before she slowly loosened her grip around him. She pursed her lips as she took a step back from him and he quickly turned away from her.

She watched his back as he slowly exited what was once their apartment and closed the door behind him. She collapsed on the hard wood floor underneath her and cried. Her world was falling apart and she didn't know how to put it back together.

As he closed the door behind him he could hear her crying. He began to walk to the end of the hallway but only made it half way to the elevator before he too stopped. With his back against the wall he slid to the floor, letting the emotion flow out of him that he was too scared to admit existed because had he seen her collapse he never would have been able to walk out that door.


	3. Home Sweet Home

**Disclaimer: Don't own Instant Star.**

**AN: Sorry it has taken me so long to get the next part of this story out. I am still kind of setting it up for what is to come. I have been working on this chapter for months. It has come a long way since I first started it. Hope you like it.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

The wheels rolled on and the bus was starting to feel more like a reformatory. She didn't have any personal, private space and it seemed wherever she turned there was always someone beside her. When she wanted to be alone, she couldn't and it was making things difficult. 

It had been the longest five months of her life. She marked the days on a calendar and after the third day she had wanted to turn around and go back home. She knew she was going to be without him regardless, but at least he would be around. Out on the road she couldn't call him, she couldn't accidentally bump into him, and he was just a memory and a picture.

She sat on the bus staring out the window, a boy on each side of her, throwing things over her head. She was oblivious, concentrating only on the miles until she was home. She hadn't seen him since he left that night. She hadn't talked to him, no letters, no phone calls, no email, no contact what-so-ever and it was killing her. She longed for his touch, to see his face, his smile, to feel the warmth of his body against hers, to kiss his lips once more.

Every fraction of her being was yearning for every part of his. She had five extensive months to think about everything and she determined that they could make it work. They _would_ make it work. She would rather be with him and trying then be without him knowing that they were destined for one another.

Everything outside the windowpane was distorted when all of a sudden it started to slow down, the trees started looking familiar, the curves of the streets felt like home, the surroundings were that which she loved.

The bus came to an absolute standstill, while everybody else cheered and began to depart the bus, she continued sitting. Unexpectedly she was anxious—it was like the first time she ever met him all over again. The nerves were kicking in, her breathing was getting heavy and she was insecure of herself. Afraid of how he was going to act around her, she suddenly wished she were back on the road with more time to think about this. Granted she had put so much thought into this already, but not once in all of her scenarios did she ever think about what would happen when it in fact became a reality and what would happen if he didn't want to be with her. What if he wasn't willing to try and give them another chance?

She pulled herself together, finally standing up from the bench she was sitting on and exited the bus. She breathed in the fresh air as she glanced around her—after five long months of not knowing where she was and knowing no one but the people on the bus with her—she felt home. A smile played on her lips as she took her first step towards the front entrance of G Major. She _was_ home.

She stretched out her body in an effort to delay the inevitable. Not wanting to rush back into the studio, she slowly began pacing towards the front door, breathing deeply she gently grabbed the handle as she moved her body back into the proverbial.

In a matter of seconds all eyes were on her. She was hailed with welcomed hugs and smiling faces, trying her best not to appear distracted, she glanced around the room little by little, her eyes darting from every corner and every wall in a timely manner. So many welcoming faces and yet none of them the one she wanted to see.

Her eyes settled on her sister from across the room, Sadie gently moved towards her, arms extended. They promptly engulfed Jude, if it wasn't Tommy, she was glad it was Sadie. No matter what happened between the two of them over time, there really was nothing like the love of a sister's hug. As much as they didn't get along most of the time, Sadie was always there for her and although she didn't express it enough, Jude deeply appreciated it.

Unexpectedly the tepid warmth of her sisters breath against her ear distressed her, "He's gone," she whispered.

Jude jerked away instantaneously and gazed into her sister's eyes, she skewed her head, narrowing her eyes, hoping to see a lie.

"It's been three months," Sadie pulled her close for another hug, her arms gripping her tightly, "I'm sorry."

The words swarmed through Jude's head, she pulled away shaking her head in disbelief, staring at her sister now standing unaccompanied. She felt her heart breaking all over again, only it had never healed from before.

Jude took this opportunity to turn around and exit the studio which she had just entered moments ago. She couldn't stand everyone looking at her, watching her, feeling sorry for her because they all knew. They all knew he was gone and they knew he didn't tell her.

The instant she stepped outside the tears began to fall—they ran down her cheeks landing on her shirt, soaking it through in only a matter of minutes. Three months. It had been three months since he left and he didn't even bother to tell her. She never thought he would do such a thing, but then again she never thought he would do a lot of things he did.

She found herself unhurriedly drifting around the parking lot. She couldn't bring herself to go back on the bus. She spent countless hours visualizing their reunion, now that she knew there wouldn't be one she couldn't bring herself to even look at it. She aimlessly sauntered around, not paying attention to where she was headed she found herself outside their apartment building, her apartment now.

She stopped dead in her tracks, recognizing where she had unconsciously led herself. It was going to take all the determination she had to disengage that door and step inside to what was a constant token of him.

_Together they were tangled in the sheets of her bed. Their legs intertwined his feet playing with hers, trying to keep them warm. She rested her head on his chest, his left arm caressing the silkiness of her back. _

_The sun was forcing its way through her window, casting a golden radiance on the both of them._

_"I don't want to go to the studio today," she whimpered next to him, "I just want to stay here, for the rest of my life, in bed with you."_

_"I could get used to this," he kissed her hair, "waking up next to you every morning, it's not so bad."_

_She tilted her head up to look at him, "I _am_ used to this," she smiled, crinkling her nose._

_He slid down so their faces were now even, he kindly rubbed her nose with his own before engulfing her in a good morning kiss._

_She moaned against him, their bodies melding as one, their warm moist lips tingling with excitement._

_She released herself, "I have something for you," she turned her back away from him, leaning across the bed and towards her night stand._

_She opened the top drawer, he could hear her rummaging through some things before she happily turned back facing him._

_Her arms hidden behind her back, she sat up, the sheet wrapped loosely around her bare body, "Pick a hand," she giggled._

_"Left," he held out his own hand._

_She slowly removed her arm from behind her back, her hand balled tightly into a fist she brought it towards him, resting it in his own before she opened her palm flat against his._

_"For you," she removed her hand to reveal a shiny gold key resting in his palm, "Now we can have this every morning," she leaned forward and fell on top of him, kissing him with every fiber of her being._

_He looked at her momentarily, "Does this mean…" he trailed off. _

_He didn't even have to finish his sentence because she was already nodding her head in agreement, "Yeah," she straddled him, "We can go get the rest of your things later."_

_He leaned up to kiss her fully on the mouth, "Are you sure?"_

"_Welcome home," she grinned._

_He quickly turned her so her back was on the bed and he was hovering above her, before he simply lowered himself on top of her._

When she treaded through the threshold she was immediately over-whelmed. She gasped at the sentiment it gave her, tears decanting down her face once again. Everything was different. It was no longer their apartment but hers. All of the love was gone—he took it with him when he left. She glanced around and made a mental note of everything that was absent. That's when she saw it, a white piece of paper sitting on the dining room table, his apartment key resting beside it. She gradually walked over to the note and picked it up, unfolding the crisp paper, her eyes leisurely skimmed the letters.

_All my love, always and forever,_

_Tommy_

She headed straight to the bedroom with the letter still in hand where she collapsed on their bed and cried, clutching the paper securely against her. She was falling apart, unraveling at the seams. She had come home, hoping to make amends only to find that he would rather run away and have nothing to do with her, then even try to be her friend.

He could say he loved her all he wanted, but he wasn't there for her now and now is when she needed him the most.

* * *

He had gone back to their apartment the day after she left for tour. He wanted to get it done and over with. Everything had been painful enough and walking back into that apartment was like a knife slicing through his heart. 

He came equipped with boxes and packed everything up as swiftly as possible. He boxed all his books, his CD's, his clothes, his toiletries, everything that was his and everything that was theirs, he left for her.

He glanced around the apartment, it almost looked the same, but he knew she would notice every little discrepancy. She had memorized everything that was him, down the freckles on his arms. A tear slid down his cheek as he thought about leaving this place. It had been the first place he called home that actually felt like it. He knew it was because she was there and to him she would always be home, but he told her he would leave and he kept his promises.

Taking a piece of paper from one of the many boxes he had packed, he quickly scribbled a note for her and left it sitting on the table with his key. He had to let her know he loved her, even if it was over, she had to know. He stared at the note for what some might say was a minute too long before exiting the apartment one last time.

It had been two months without her now and he couldn't sleep at night. He missed her next to him. He missed waking up to her, he missed their dinners and cuddling on the couch, he missed dancing with her, and playing pranks on her, he missed watching her get ready for bed, but most of all he just missed her.

Two months had felt like eternity. He didn't know how he was going to endure three more months with no contact, let alone how he was going to undergo an entire lifetime without it.

And then it struck him.

He had to leave.

If he wanted an ordinary life, if he wanted her to have an ordinary life, he had to leave.

* * *

**Review if you like. It is greatly appreciated.**


	4. Relief

**Disclaimer: Don't own Instant Star.**

**AN: I can't believe I got this done so soon. I don't really know how I feel about this chapter. It is kind of filler. Hope you like it.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

_**FOUR YEARS LATER:**_

Tommy made his way through the throngs of people—even freezing temperatures couldn't keep people from overflowing the sidewalks. Glancing from face to face, recognizing no one he stuffed his hands into his pockets just as his phone started to vibrate against his thigh.

Sighing deeply he raised the phone to his ear, "I said it once and I really don't want to say it again, but no. The answer is no. It doesn't matter how many times you ask me, the answer is always going to be no," he flipped his cell phone closed and smoothly slid it back into his pocket.

He checked his watch before stopping at the coffee stand on the corner.

"Tommy!" the man behind the counter smiled.

"Hey Chuck, just the regular," he glimpsed down at the magazine stand while waiting for his coffee and was unexpectedly stunned by the visage staring back at him.

"Black coffee to go," Chuck set the steaming hot coffee on the ledge in front of him.

Tommy blinked rapidly, quickly looking at Chuck, "I'll take one of these too," he slid the magazine out of its niche, slipping it under his arm and sliding Chuck a five dollar bill. Sipping his coffee slowly he made his way back out into the crowds where he could easily disappear from the rest of the world.

He rapidly made his way in the direction of his apartment, magazine still tucked under arm he quickly paced himself, rushing to get home before she did.

The elevator doors opened and he stepped out into the bitter lengthy vestibule, taking his keys out of his jacket pocket he gradually made his way towards his door and unlocked it with a stable hand. Sighing intensely he stepped into his apartment, pulling the magazine out from under his arm he examined the cover, absorbing every detail of the face he once knew so well.

He glanced up from the magazine and was taken aback by the girl sitting at the kitchen table, her eyes met his and she gave him a distressing smile.

"Hey B," he made his way towards the table, setting the magazine face down on the counter before taking a seat across from her.

He didn't even have to look at her to know what was coming. He considered it a flaw of his. After Jude, none of it really mattered. He always knew it was happening, even weeks before, but he never had the incentive to fix the problem beforehand because he knew in his heart that it was the right thing.

Bailey was his third 'serious' girlfriend in four years. Despondently he knew at the beginning of every relationship he started that it wasn't fair to even start another because in the end, someone was going to get hurt and it wasn't going to be him.

There was something exceptional about Bailey though because in all the relationships he had after Jude that just came and went, there was a very small part of him that essentially fell for Bailey. Somewhere deep within his heart he had fooled himself into thinking that this one was going to last. Sorrowfully he was only settling for the here and now because what he really wanted, he was never going to get.

"Hey," she was staring at him from across the table, her hands lightly folded in her lap.

He hastily glanced down at his own lap, his hands resting on the table in front of him, his head hanging low between his shoulders. He was trying his best not to look at her because he knew, "Don't," was all he could manage to get out.

"Don't?" She never took her eyes off of him, he was hiding something and she knew it.

"Just don't," he glanced up at her, his eyes meeting hers, his hands still latent on the table in front of him.

"Tommy—" she lifted her hands off her lap and reached across the table enveloping his hands in her own.

He responded by taking her small petite hands in his and rubbing the top of her soft palms with his thumbs. "Why? Just tell me why?" he shook his head.

"There's someone else," she rescinded her hands from his and put them back in her lap.

He swiftly slid his hands off the table, tilting his head to look at her, he never would have predicted, "Wh—who—who is he?" He blinked slowly not taking his eyes off her.

"I think I should be the one asking that."

"Excuse me?" He shook his head vigorously, "There is no one else and especially no he," he scoffed.

"Not a he… a she."

He couldn't stop shaking his head at her, "No… there is no one else." He glanced over at the counter where he had previously tossed the magazine he didn't want Bailey to see, then he turned his head towards the refrigerator, staring at the numerous magnets and pictures, any distraction at this point was welcomed.

"Tommy," she barely whispered, "Look at me."

His eyes were glued to the refrigerator, all the memories it held, of not just her, but preceding relationships as well.

"Look at me please," she pleaded.

He turned his head in her direction, barely making eye contact.

"There_ is_ someone else. Now you can deny it all you want. You can fool yourself into believing that there isn't. You can lie to yourself, but you can't lie to me Tommy… because I love you," she leaned back in her seat, sighing in relief that that was done and over with.

He broke eye contact and glanced back towards the fridge, "and I lo—" he was suddenly cut off by her.

"You don't have to say it back. And the truth is, I don't think you really do," she stood up from the chair she was sitting in and positioned herself in the chair to his left, closer to him, "I can see it in your eyes, when you look at me, you are looking straight through me. When your lips kiss mine, they are kissing someone else. When you make love to me, you trace the curves of my body with your eyes, but it's not me your tracing, it's her." She paused for a moment, gathering herself, trying to suppress the tears.

"Bailey," he leaned forward, resting his forehead against hers.

"I know this because I love you Tommy and its okay that you don't love me back," she pulled away from him, looking into his eyes, the tears teeter-tottering on the brink of her eyelids.

"Bailey…" he was speechless. He was so sure that he had built his walls up so high that no one would see the true him. He wore the mask so well, certain that no one would see his deepest darkest secret, but she did.

"It is okay Tommy, really. I knew coming into this relationship that it was a one in a million chance that you would actually love me back. You're Tommy Q—you don't love just one woman. But it took me a little over a year to see that you do. Unfortunately that one woman just isn't me. I don't know who she is, but I do hope that you find her and you tell her, because if you love her that much, she deserves to know."

He looked up at her, examining her every inch, amazed that this woman was his for the past thirteen months and he never once took the time to see this sincerity in her. Only now that he was loosing her did he realize just how truly amazing she was.

"I've already packed my things—they are in my car and ready to go," she stood up from the kitchen table and placed the chair back where it belonged in his perfectly kept kitchen.

He glanced around the apartment and noticed all the little things that were missing here and there, nothing truly significant but enough for him to notice that it was different.

"You don't have to leave tonight," he too stood up with her, taking her hand in his once again.

"I'm afraid what will happen if I stay."

He gripped her hand tightly, a smile slightly spreading on his face in amazement at how true the woman was standing in front of him.

"I hope you find what you are looking for Tom," and with that she took back her hand, stopping when she noticed the magazine on the counter. She lifted it up in her hands turning it over to read the cover, "I never took you for a Glamour kind of guy. Jude Harrison sure is beautiful though isn't she?" She smiled, placing the magazine on the table in front of him, not realizing the face staring back at her from the cover was everything he had been wishing for since he lost it.

He nodded his head in agreement, "Bailey…" he quickly spat as she was halfway out the door.

She stopped dead in her tracks, turning around to look at him.

He walked up to her, placing a sincere heartfelt kiss on her cheek, "Thank you," he pulled away, "and I do love you," he reassured her.

She nodded her head "Just not how I love you," she turned and walked out the door, closing it gently behind her.

He ran his fingers through his hair before heavily sitting back down at the kitchen table. His eyes fell downwards where the familiar eyes on the cover of the magazine were staring back up at him.

If only she knew.

She had to know.

_He_ had to tell her.

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**Review if you like. It is greatly appreciated.**


	5. Coffee Break

**AN: Wow, this took forever, hopefully I will be updating more often. Sorry for the wait.**

**Do Enjoy.**

* * *

He opened his eyes faintly, slowly letting his eyes fine-tune to the radiance from outside bursting in through the window

He opened his eyes faintly, slowly letting his eyes fine-tune to the radiance from outside bursting in through the window. Rubbing his swollen eyes with his fingers he turned onto his back. The bed was bare and cold now that Bailey was gone. He tilted his head to look at the alarm clock on his bedside table and let out a heavy sigh at the red numbers 5:30 glaring back at him. It was too early in the morning and he had no where to go.

His eyes settled on the skylight that rested in the middle of the ceiling in his room. He watched the grey clouds drift by, listening the pitter-patter of the downpour crashing onto the roof above him. He knew having an apartment on the top floor would eventually pay off. He watched as the sky turned from a dark purple into a dark grey and then a pale blue. He watched the day passed him by in what felt like a second and before he knew it the sky was purple again and then neon orange before it turned pitch black yet again.

He lay in bed thinking of her. Wondering where she was, what she was doing, if she knew that he still loved her. If she ever saw him in people walking down the street like he did her. He wondered if she ever figured out that after they had broken up and he left town while she was on tour, he went to every one of her shows. That he stood in the back, in the sinister shadows, where he was sure she wouldn't see him and he watched her. Pined for her, loved her and wished her the best in life, even if she on no account heard him.

He didn't know where she was and he wasn't sure where to even begin in order to find her. All he knew was that he had to tell her—be it now or a year from now, one way or the other—he would get the message to her. He would tell her. But first he had to practice, he had to rehearse, he had to think of every conversation that they could have once he told her and he had to come up with a response to it all.

He wasn't one for acting on impulse. He used to be, but after he lost her and wasted away years with pointless relationships he was done being impulsive. He had to know that his time around, it was going to work.

He finally emerged from bed at around eight in the evening. He showered and threw on some clothes. Making his way into the kitchen he went to start a pot of coffee only to find that his cabinets were bare. Without Bailey around he hadn't had the chance to make it down to the store lately.

So he grabbed his keys from their spot, wrapped a scarf around his neck, picked his jacket up from off the back of the couch and made his way down to the busy city street below him.

He stepped out the door of his complex and right into the windy chill that suddenly froze his face. Breathing into his hands he quickly paced himself towards the coffee shop on the corner.

Just one cup of coffee and then it was back to bed for him.

The coffee shop was getting closer and he quickened his pace. Looking through the windows as he approached a smile spread across his face at the sight of how warm it looked inside. He pushed the door open just as someone else pushed it from the other side.

They collided into each other and before he could realize what was happening he saw a cup of coffee fly into the air. The cup came crashing down onto the owner of the said cup.

Tommy winced as the steam of the burning cup of coffee rose of the gentleman's shirt.

"I am so sorry," Tommy apologized, "So sorry." They meandered back into the coffee shop.

"No apologies, it's not your fault," the man looked up from his now wet shirt and smiled at him.

"Please, I was in such a hurry to get into a warm building, I wasn't watching where I was going, let me buy you a new cup of coffee at least."

"It's okay really. Obviously I wasn't paying attention either. Please, you don't need to make up for it any way, but thank you."

"Yeah, anytime," Tommy handed him some napkins to help soak up the coffee from his shirt.

"Hey sweetie," a female voice came from behind the man, a neatly manicured hand sat on his shoulder.

The man turned around as Tommy stood there, looking on, still feeling guilty— waiting to persuade the man to let him buy him a cup of coffee.

He listened in on their conversation. He envied the man. Here he was, on a cold winter night, with a woman he loved. Tommy longed for that once again.

"Oh no," he heard the woman say, "what happened?'

"Just a little accident, it's okay though, just give me a minute to go clean myself up in the restroom."

"Yeah of course," the woman replied.

Tommy looked up when he noticed the man stepping away towards the bathroom. And then it happened. His eyes landed on hers. Standing face to face, he froze. The same eyes that graced the magazine cover the other day were now staring at him again. Only this time they weren't just an image on a page, but they were burrowing deep into him, right into his soul.

They both stood there, neither saying a word. He couldn't find the words to say and she was stunned, so sure that she would never see him again after she came back from tour and he was gone.

He didn't move. He just started at her, waiting for her to say something, anything. He blinked and when he opened his eyes, sure that she would be gone, just a fragment of his imagination, he found that she was still standing there, frozen.

She realized she had stopped breathing when her eyes met his. She could feel the tears wanting to escape. She could feel the love seeping back into her bones. She could feel her arms overwhelmed with excitement wanting to throw them around him. Instead she stood there, staring back him, not breathing, not saying a word.

Suddenly a voice broke through the ice, "Okay, then, are we ready?" There was suddenly an arm around her waist and she remembered who she was there with.

She looked away from him and up to the man standing at her side.

"Ye—Yeah… I'm ready," she wrapped her scarf around her neck and he began to lead her outside.

"Jude," Tommy spit out, turning towards her just as walked by him.

She froze in place as she turned her head to look at him, her head was tilted towards the floor and she lifted her eyes to meet his.

"Do you two know each other?" The man with Jude questioned.

"Jude," he stepped towards her, grabbing her hand in his own and pulling her towards him, it was like she was in a trance and she couldn't snap herself out of it.

Suddenly she looked up, taking her hand back and folding her arms across her chest, "I'm sorry, I have to go."

"Don't," he pleaded, "I have to talk to you."

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